Tactics

I don't think you realize how much you mean to me.
your the only thing that has made me smile these past couple of weeks....
I forgot how amazing I feel when I hear your voice... and how much my heart pounds when you laugh....

I thank you.... so much for apologizing to me.... that was all I ever wanted... and to hear you say it, and mean it.... just means so much..... I know..... I just know, somehow i could make you happy.... if you would let me try...

I came so close to telling you, that I still love you.... and at this point, I think i always will...
Speaking to you again these past few months has meant everything to me.... and whomever gave us that curve ball.... I thank them too... Because they have made me the happiest i have been...

Have you ever... loved someone so much? 
...my heart has always been set on you..... I have never been able to look at another guy the same way... 

Even though our past was rough.... we've managed to somehow make a friendship once more...
I hope, that my gift, will make you realize how much you truly mean to me.... and I hope you'll know I will always love you... I would never ever do anything to hurt you.... I honestly feel like  have never smiled this much. even though a lot of shit has went down... you managed to make me feel so amazing once more....

It meant so much.... when you told me.... how great I was...

Thank you... <3 


....I love you....
....I promise... I'll never ever leave your side again.... <3


~Michi

Give it all.

I'd give it all for you.

I love your laugh

I love your voice.

I guess I love you.

<3

Wishing on Airplanes.

So I believe that this was a bad idea. 

After almost 2 years of never associating with him, I spoke to him again. It was very odd at how this happened as well. 

I was visiting Alyssa, and I was angry, since he was ignoring her. More then likely, because I was there. I believe you all know who I am talking about now.

,,,we've been messaging each other back and forth since the trip... and gained our ...somewhat screwed up friendship back. I didn't feel anything at the time, except wanting to get back at this boy for the way my heart was tossed and crumbled by his hands ... but maybe I was wrong. I guess he was my first love, even if I never met him. But then again, maybe I'm just wishing on airplanes. I guess I've always wanted this boy back. But I will not admit it to him or just anyone. I'm not willing to give my heart to anyone right now after all of the things I've been through. I'm not ready to say the words "I love you" yet, because they can make or break anything. I don't want to go through that pain. 

Maybe he is my only exception.

Maybe I'm still just wishing.

but whatever happens, I'll either hate romance more and more, or I'll gain a soft spot for it once more, like I used too.

i do hope we can keep a friendship, because we always had a wonderful one. Maybe we just weren't meant to be.... lovers? hahahah, what an odd word. But i do believe we were meant to be friends, somehow... :/ The way we got together was... almost a freak accident. But it happened. I would like to change things, but then again, maybe not. We're not supposed to regret anything. So i wont regret it. 

 But, for now, i believe maybe I should lay low.

I'll be bulletproof this time too.

Love never lasts...

....everytime I hear the song "The Only Exception" by Paramore, tears well up in my eyes. It makes me think back to when I was young and how things used to be. Back when my dad was still alive, and back when he screwed up so many times.... Like Haley says...... he broke his own heart by cheating, and i watched as he tried to re-assemble the pieces that had gone askew through his rocky relationships.... It kills me.... this along with so many other things make me wonder if true love does exist in this world anymore. You find so many people getting married, having kids, dating.... and none of it amounts to anything in the end... they either cheat, or just want the sex....

What has become of the world? People used to fall in love for years and years, until DEATH did them part. But not anymore. No one wants love anymore, and after so many repeats of things to come, I don't really know if I'm able to believe either.

The only thing about the song, that's different to my point of view...

I haven't found my only exception....

And I wonder if I will or if I'm going to be one of these girls who just parties and fucks around. I don't want to go through the pain of loving someone now. Not after all the things I've seen.... the things I've felt.....

I just wonder....

Will my only exception come...? Or am I doomed to be alone for the rest of my life...?

Doing me up with the black color liner

Omg i LOVE that song. <3 I hate how Adam Lambert makes me want to go out and just party. :] Makes me want to be more wild instead of the tame little cat that I am. xD I'd kill to be brave enough to dress kinda skanky and be able to pull it off. You know? Satisfy myself and break a few hearts while doing it. Not caring what they thought the next morning. I'd be happy. ;D I feel that's wrong of me, but then again, i'm also just 20. I want to be able to party, or w/e shit i wanna do. Not be tied down for a while.

But anyways~ <3

I have been going to campus for the past two weeks. I'm enjoying it, but there is still that part of me that feels unsatisfied with where i am. As many of you know, my dream is to one day become an animator. I just feel that it's what I'm meant to do. Either that or be a model. ;D But we'll save that story for a later day.

My creative skills cannot express my emotions and talent that I hold within. I wish sometimes I just had a HUGE piece of paper that I could just draw on. After my Drawing II class, I have yearned to draw on a bigger sheet of paper, something bigger then me. I want to express my inner feelings and just go crazy. I want to make an animation about what I see when I listen to a song, such as Don't Jump by Tokio Hotel. 

I will do this.
I lost my train of thought. :D


W00t~

Got the right amount of leather~

So I'm pretty much excited to have a blog now. :D I've been dying to get one ever since i found out my friend Tegan had one, but the thing would never give me a fuckin' account. -.- So Huzzah for this~! :D

So college has started. I honestly had no idea I'd enjoy being on campus as much as I have. I'm dying to start getting into it more and more. I love the idea of being on my own and away from home, no stress0rz except getting to class on time and homework. :D But I can deal with that, cha. 

I've been feeling just so RAWR though. Like, I just realized how many of my friends I honestly don't know anymore. Of course we all grow up and we change, but your supposed to keep up with them, right? I mean your friends. *shrugs* but then again I'm different then a lot of people think I am. I look back on myself in high school and I'm so different. My hair changes pretty much on a day to day basis. ((I wish it would)) I've acquired the nickname Ramona Flowers from my old high school pal, Alec. Hahahaha, I know Scott Pilgrim ref. I'm dying to see that movie too. D: You would think that since I am now employed at the theater in my town, i could go check it out! but no, no time. I'm telling you, i'm so pumped to work there.

I am no longer an employee at the nursing home, which is kinda a  big relief in some ways. That place was just terribly stressful to the point that I'm breaking out, again. ACNE! I FINALLY had a clear face and BAM! Lol it kills me, but it's not as bad as the pizza face I had in my junior year of high school. 

Btw, isn't it amazing how much a person changes? I used to NEVER touch make-up, and here i am wearing eyeliner and eyeshadow, with the occasional lipstick. :D I think it's amazing now, and I hate how that girly side is coming over me. >< Dresses are becoming the shit lately and suspenders? FTW~<3 I'm diggin' my suspenders. I have no idea how many people have told me I look different and I agree. I'm loving the new me. Do you know how many people I've told off here recently? Two. And all in the same night. :D I'm on a roll. XD

I'm just sick of friends using the term "best friend" so loosely. :| Bull isn't it?

But yeah, Michi has changed, and is blossoming to be what she has always dreamed. I guess that's a reason i got this blog. I feel constricted in some of my things such as dA and Facebook because of specific people watching me, but here i can start to unfold and sort of let myself go. 

I needa draw. O_O

Real bad.

XD And my ceramic's lab should be starting soon hopefully. At 2:40. It's 2:08. O_O

But just a little update. ;D

Thanks for reading mah beautiful babes. <3

~Mimi